genclige hitabe

ben bu sarkiyi lisede ilk iki derste sira altinda walkman'imde geveze'yi dinlerken farketmistim. o zamanlardan aklimda kalan kismi "maybe you'll marry maybe you won't, maybe you'll have children maybe you won't" olmustur ama baz luhrman'in ses tonunu hicbir zaman unutmadim. geveze bu sarkiyi bir sure boyunca programini kapatirken yaptigi gunluk konusmalardan once calardi. onun hikayelerini okurkenki ses tonunu da unutmadim. gecmisi en guzel hatirlatan katalizor koku derlerdi, benim gecmisime dair katalizor seslerdeki tonlamalar.

o zamanlar farkli hayallerim vardi. sistemin gerektirdigi bicimde kendimi, hayatimi yonlendirecek sinava hazirlamaya calisiyordum, psikolojik olarak. hayallerim farkliydi, belki yoktu bile. zaman gecince bazi hislerin oldugunu unutursunuz, ben de su anda o doneme dair hislerimi hatirlayamiyorum. belki de o zaman en buyuk hayalim okuldaki basket turnuvasinda final macinda peja ile nasil bir show yapabilecegimiz uzerineydi ya da o zamanlar cuma geceleri elimizde saraplarla bostanli'yi tavaf ettigimiz dost-u gecmis'im hatirlar o gecelerde ne konustugumu. bilmiyorum tam olarak.

aradan cok uzun zaman gecti. dolayisiyla hayaller de revize oldu ya da ilk kez hayal kurmaya basladim, dedigim gibi hatirlamiyorum gecmisimi cok fazla, uc adam var gecimisimi hatirlayabildigim biri bu. sesler, sozler hep baki kaldi. kimi zaman sozler yara aldi ama en sonunda daim kalan yazi oldu. ben broker olurum diyordum, reklamci ciktim. su yolunu buluyor eninde sonunda.

cocuklugumda izmir'de tek gokdelen tarzi, yuksek bina vardi o da hilton'du. hilton benim cocuksu aklimda, vapurun alsancak'tan once ugradigi duragin ilerisindeki, babamin beni cumartesileri goturdugu fame city'nin oldugu yuksek bir bina olarak yer etti sadece. zaman gectikce kendimi para kazanma telasinda buldum ve hayallerim metazori olarak bu yolda sekillendi, halbuki parayi hala saygisizca harciyorum, aramizda nefrete dayali bir iliski var.

yillar gectikce ben, o hilton katli gokdelenlerde calismaya basladim. gokdelenlerden tukurdum dunyaya ama bir keresinde izmir'e gittigimde hilton'un en ust katindaki barda viski de yudumladim tek basima, karsimda yakamiz, sagimda alsancak. bulamadim ne aradigimi. hilton'dan garanti'ye yonelirken de yolda bira icmeyi ihmal etmedim, kisacasi kendimi hicbir zaman kaybetmedim. zevk ariyordum hayatta. kendi bildigimle zevki bulamadigim icin insanlara kulak asayim dedim arada, ondan buyudu bu kulaklar. arada bir ise yariyor, arkamdakileri soguktan koruyorum.

bir sarkidan nerelere geldim.
zaten issiz bir adaya dusersem yanima almayacagim tek sey ipod'um olur. bilincli gidersem alirim ama kazara dusersem yanimda olsun istemem.

gunun sonuna geliyorum
aradan yillar geciyor. ben hayal meyal bilincli bir onluk hatirliyorum. tam on sene once bu sarkinin sozlerinden, baz'in ses tonundan nasil etkilendiysem, bir haftadir da ayni katsayiyla etkileniyorum. hayata bakis acimiz aslinda hic degismiyor ama acinin gosterdigi yorungeye yon verebiliyoruz. bu sarkinin sozleri de aynen bunu anlatiyor. eger dunyanin donmesine izin verdigin surede hala icini gorebiliyorsan, ister uzerine giydigini kaldirarak, ister karanlik bir odada dusunerek, ister herkesin ortasinda deli gibi dans ederek ve hatta istersen o cikmaz sokagi aydinlatan tek sokak lambasinin golgesinde gozyaslarini tadarken ya da hickiriklarini duyarken.

maksat canak comlek patlamadan; canagi, comlegi, elde avucta ne varsa sikinti yaratan, hepsini bosaltip, icinin aldigina, sevdigin neyse ona kosmaktan geciyor. iste ben bunu cok ama cok seviyorum.





Wear sunscreen. If i could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis or reliable then my own meandering experience. i will dispense this advice....now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, nevermind, you won't understand the power and beauty of your youth until they've faded, but trust me in 20 years, you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You are not as fat as you imagine.

Don't worry about the future, or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum.

The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind: the kind that blindsides you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing every day that scares you.

Sing.

Don't be reckless with other people's hearts; don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.

Floss.

Don't waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long, and in the end, it's only with yourself.

Remember compliments you receive; forget the insults (if you succeed in doing this, tell me how).

Keep your old love letters; throw away your old bank statements.

Stretch.

Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people i know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives; some of the most interesting 40 year
olds i know still don't.

Get plenty of Calcium. Be kind to your knees -- you'll miss them when they're gone.

Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll divorce at 40; maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary.

Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself, either. Your choices are half chance, so are everybody else's.

Enjoy your body: use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it or what other people think of it; it's the
greatest instrument you'll ever own.

Dance...even if you have no where to do it but in your own living room.

Read the directions (even if you don't follow them).

Do not read beauty magazines; they will only make you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents; you never know when they'll be gone for good.

Be nice to your siblings: they're your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go, but what a precious few should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps and geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people you knew when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard.

Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.

Travel.

Accept certain inalienable truths: prices will rise, politicians will philander, you too will get old; and when you do, you'll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble, and children
respected their elders.

Respect your elders.

Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund, maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse, but you never know when either one might run out.

Don't mess too much with your hair or by the time you are 40, it will look 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia; dispensing it is a way of wishing the past from the disposal--wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts, and recycling it for more than it's worth.

But trust me, I'm the sunscreen.